Metanoia with Monalisa

  • Monalisa Roy

That Crazy Thing that Happened

It felt unfair. Illogical. Meaningless. What a waste!

I felt all of those things and I didn’t know why. The realization struck me much later. That it wasn’t unfair or illogical or meaningless or a waste. It had to hurt me. It had to be the way it did.

All these experiences sometimes are lost on me. I feel utterly devastated and emotional when certain life changing scenarios come my way. Did I cry? Yes. Did I feel betrayed? Yes. Did I make a fuss about it? Yes.

But I also fought for the things I truly loved. Fiercely and ferociously. It was always like that. Too many people are consumed with all the big things that they forget that the little things that are there matter too.

Little things like having clean drinking water. Beautiful flowers. Having a family. Someone who cares. A balloon. All these little things make up all the great things in life.

So as I was sitting beside the window, thinking about the good and the bad times, I thought to myself “was it worth it?” “Was it really necessary for it to happen to me?” All these questions consumed my mind.

Lost. Criticized.

I kept beating myself up thinking I could have done better. I could have played things differently. I could have kept fighting. But no! Suddenly I stopped myself from these never ending thoughts. I told myself that it had to happen because it was meant to.

As days went by, I realized that if it didn’t happen I wouldn’t have become the woman I am today. I am strong and confident more than ever. I finally told myself that the reason why my heart had to break is because it was time for me to be strong.

Often we fail to realize that that events that occur in our lives are opportunities for us to grow. Life lessons is the universe’s way to make our lives interesting. Believe me when I say this that my life has gotten better because of the experiences that shaped me!

“Don't beat yourself up for not knowing the answers. You don't always have to know who you are. You don't have to have the big picture, or know where you're heading. Sometimes, it's enough just to know what you're going to do next.”

― Sophie Kinsella, The Undomestic Goddess

The moment I realized what I am capable of I knew I was meant for greater things. I listened to my instincts. I listened to advice. I did what I thought was best for me at the time.

The important thing to keep in mind is that we all have face certain situations beyond our control. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. We might feel outraged. But the things that seem unfair are only fair and the ones that feel illogical are in fact logical. We will never understand why it happened the way it did. We need to accept the fact that whatever might be the case it is for our own good.

It wont seem easy at first but if you settle your mind and tell it that the answers will come in time. It will. I promise you that it gets easier with time. You heal. You grow. You accomplish.

So don’t worry if it feels like it was meaningless. It probably was. It probably wasn’t. Calm yourself because you are on your quest towards greatness. Pain is inevitable but what you learn from it becomes meaningful in the end.

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