Metanoia with Monalisa

  • Monalisa Roy

The Ultimate Guide to Being You.

We have all been in relationships. We all know how it is. Some of us might have gotten our hearts broken. Some of us are still deeply in love. Wherever you are right now, you are just in the right place. Having someone to love is a blessing. But some of us think that we are not good enough just because we don’t have a partner.

Let me guide you on how a relationship should be like!

Relationships don’t define us. It is important to understand that someone can’t be our whole world. And our relationship with someone does not define our individual selves. I am sure many of you will agree that at some point you had lost yourself in the relationship. It was about how your entire day was about the other person? How you would spend the entire day texting and calling, or going out and being with each other.

All this makes sense. After all you are in love. But what if that person was not there anymore? How are you going to spend your entire day?

This is where it gets tricky when it comes to relationships. And that is why it is essential that you build a life on your own. That includes the things you love to do like reading, playing an instrument, talking to a friend, listening to your favorite songs.

Take out time for yourself. Your partner should not be your all. He is a part of your life. And I am sure you would not love him any less just because you are making time for yourself. I like to see it as making your own ice cream. You put all the good things together and make a yummy ice cream out of your life. And if someone comes along, he will be the cherry on top of your ice cream. Not the whole ice cream.

Make sure you don’t forget your value when you are in a relationship. You can’t force anyone and you never should. So even if it’s really hard to let someone go, do it anyway. You are better off without him. And if someone does not want to stay why would you want to be with someone like that? Clearly he does not see any value with you.

A relationship should add value to your life. It should bring out the best in you and if it does not work let it go. I always tell my friends whenever they are going through a break up to practice self-love. My point is that if you don’t know how to love yourself how can you ever expect someone else to love you the right way? Self-love is knowing how to treat yourself and realizing that you are important too. It is the best thing that you can do for yourself.

Read more books. Go out. Feel the sunshine. Smell the flowers. Get wet in the rain. Buy that cute dress. Do what makes you happy. Life is beautiful. Sure it has its pitfalls. But consider this! If you don’t feel sadness how can you ever begin to feel happiness? How will you ever realize how happiness feels unless you feel sadness?

Relationships are an essential part of human life. But the most important relationship is with ourselves. So make sure you have a wonderful relation with yourself.

Thanks for reading!

Previously published on Medium